So it was with each new arrival that my confusion grew. I hadbeen "taught" that a man who wants (or needs) to wear women's clotheswas someone that wan...ed to be a woman. That being the case it would thenof course follow that that person would also be sexually attracted tomen, in other words a homosexual. And if I was sure of nothing else inmy life it was that I was not a homosexual. I therefore could neitherenjoy the soft caress of a satin bra, nor the sensuous embrace of sheerstockings upon my. "They passed a small tavern that had been burned. Kitchen things, trenchers, cups, scattered linens and broken barrels littered the side yard, and pages from what might have been an account book fluttered in the breeze. The smoldering smell made them both cough."Sale was in 'Napolis, big town made out'a bricks, even the sidewalks," Jefferson continued after shaking his head sadly at what was left of the inn. "Auction it was. They put the older men up firs', and we boys sat and watch while them. "I turned and grabbed my robe from the hook on the back of the closet door. Somehow I found myself on the way to the bathroom to change into one of my new bra and panty sets ... because Lisa told me to! I have to do it because that's the price SHE agreed to pay for the services of one of the boys. I asked myself why she isn't doing this. She's the one who's the big exhibitionist! I'm a mere neophyte!But like a mindless robot, or like a girl in a trance, I walked across the hall and closed the. Something was lost. Something was left unfinished in me. Not something out there in the physical world, something inside me that remains unchecked, unattended. I didn’t take much time to think about it, god knows I couldn’t bring myself to. And yet it was the most important thing of all. It might sound unusual. I carry my family with me. Two metal containers, etched with their names, in my backpack. Sealed shut, airtight as such, their ashes inside. They were cremated, I couldn’t bring myself.
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